Daddy's Girl
by MerDerAlways
Summary: Meredith left Seattle and Derek after his kiss with Rose, she was pregnant at the time. Two and a half years later Derek had only seen his daughter a handful of times, but now Meredith is moving back to Seattle with her daughter. MerDer
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**

**Meredith left Seattle and Derek after his kiss with Rose, she was pregnant at the time. Two and a half years later Derek had only seen his daughter a handful of times, but now Meredith is moving back to Seattle with her daughter.**

**Chapter 1**

"Okay honey, you want to sit here with George for a little while?" Meredith asked bending down to face level with her daughter.

Abby-Gail Grey-Shepherd was a few weeks shy of her second birthday. She had her father's brilliant blue eyes and sensitive, quiet nature. She had light hair like her mother, and a cute button nose, her hair sat at her shoulders. She was a quiet but bright child, although she wasn't even two yet she had started speaking, not quite full sentences yet but she could definitely make herself understood. Derek had flown out to see her when she was born and every six months since then, in total he had visited four times for two days at a time. Abby knew who he was, she called him Daddy but didn't quite understand that he was her parent too. Abby knew her mother's friends as well, they had visited her. Her favorite were Alex and George, they always played with her as only men could. She loved Izzie as well, she always slipped her treats when her mother said she couldn't have any. Although Cristina wasn't really interested in children, Abby was fascinated by her and loved to just walk around behind her.

"Tweats?" Abby asked looking up at George.

"Blackmail before her second birthday, maybe she's not so bad," Cristina sniggered.

"It's not blackmail," said Meredith.

"She's negotiating," said George.

"Fine, she can have one treat," said Meredith sternly. "But nothing that will keep her up all night."

"Okay lets take you to the vending machine," said George picking Abby up and throwing her into the air.

"Try and bring her back in one piece," Meredith called after them.

"So…you're back here?" said Cristina.

"Yeah I'm back," said Meredith. "I have a meeting with the Chief in a few minutes about coming back…my contract in Boston was only temporary anyway."

"Did you tell McDreamy you were coming back?"

"No it was all last minute," said Meredith. She really didn't like talking to Derek, even though it was necessary because he was Abby's father. She hadn't quite forgiven him for kissing Rose. "I'll call him once I'm done with the Chief."

"He's in OR4," smirked Cristina.

"I'll tell him," snapped Meredith. "You're supposed to be my person."

"I am your person," said Cristina. "Rose is working too."

"Bitch!"

"Two and a half years, Mer," said Cristina bluntly. "They aren't even together anymore…it's time to move on."

"I have moved on," said Meredith. "It doesn't mean I want to see either of them. Unfortunately not seeing Derek is not an option."

"Because you had McBaby."

"Thank you for that," said Meredith.

"Just go and see the Chief," said Cristina. "The sooner you get back here the sooner I don't have to listen to Barbie in the morning…it's depressing. Go! The kid will be fine with Mary Poppins over there."

* * *

"Hey, you want to grab a drink at Joe's tonight?" Mark asked Derek as he peeked his head into Derek's office. Derek was sitting at his desk just staring. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking," said Derek. He was looking at the picture of Abby he had on his desk, it was taken the last time he saw her almost 6 months ago. She would be much bigger by now, she might even be talking. Meredith had emailed him some pictures last month, but she was still a baby she was changing every day and every day he missed it.

"What? About the meaning of life? Or your date last night?"

"About Abby," said Derek. "I should book some time off and fly over to see her."

"You say that every week," sighed Mark. "How often do you actually get round to doing it?"

"What are you saying?"

"Just what I said," Mark shrugged.

"That I'm a bad father," Abby was always a touchy subject with Derek.

"No," said Mark not seeing how wound up Derek was. "You pay your share for the kid…pretty cute for a munchkin too," he said picking up the framed picture of Abby.

"I'm not in the mood for a drink," Derek grumbled. He didn't want to just pay his share for Abby, he wanted to be her Dad, circumstances just wouldn't let him. He had surgeries and a Neurosurgery department to run, he couldn't take holidays every month not even to see his own child.

"Come on, what else are you going to do? Sit around here and mope, get your coat," Mark ordered.

"Fine."

* * *

"So when are you coming back?" Izzie asked Meredith later. It was almost 8pm by the time Meredith had finished talking to Bailey and the Chief, by now Abby was asleep in her stroller. George had gone into surgery, so Izzie had been looking after Abby.

"A weeks trial period starting on Monday," said Meredith. "Then if everything is still okay, I'll take a week off to tie up loose ends in Boston then I'll be back."

"For good?"

"Five year contract," said Meredith. "Abby needs to be around my people."

"We're your people?"

"You're my people," said Meredith pushing the stroller towards the elevator. "You heading home?"

"Yeah," said Izzie. "I have Abby's room all ready for her."

"Let me guess it's pink," said Meredith rolling her eyes.

"Purple actually," said Izzie ignoring Meredith's sarcasm. "It's her favorite color."

"Her favorite color changes every half hour," said Meredith.

"She'll love it," said Izzie smugly.

"I'm sure she will," smiled Meredith. "When did she fall asleep?"

"About an hour ago," said Izzie. "So this moving back to Seattle thing?"

"What about it?"

"Doesn't have anything to with McDreamy?"

"Not for me," sighed Meredith. "But it will be good for Abby to be nearer Derek."

"So no…reconciliation…"

"No. Not a chance," said Meredith firmly as she stepped off the elevator. Right as Derek and Mark stepped off the elevator next to them.

"Meredith!" exclaimed Derek as if he was unsure that it was really her.

"Derek! Hi," said Meredith. She hadn't expected to run into his, he was supposed to have finished by now, she was not prepared to see him yet. "I was…going to call…"

"You're in Seattle?"

"Clearly," Mark muttered. "This must be the munchkin?"

"Uh yeah," said Meredith looking down at Abby who was still sound asleep. "She's asleep."

"Yeah I think they can see that," Izzie hissed at Meredith.

"How long?" asked Derek just staring at her, as if he couldn't believe she was standing in front of him.

"We uh…flew in early this morning?"

"All day? You've been here all day?" asked Derek. He could have seen Abby today, instead of just wishing he could see her.

"Uh…yeah I was talking to the Chief and you know…catching up with…I was going to call you in the morning…" said Meredith a bit pathetically.

"How long are you staying?" asked Derek his brain still having trouble processing what was in front of him.

"Just a week for now," said Meredith. She didn't want to talk about her moving back in front of Mark, Izzie and half the hospital. "I really need to get Abby home to bed, I'll call you in the morning and sort something out, okay?"

"Okay," said Derek and watched as Meredith all but ran out of hospital.

"Wow…"

"She really hates me," said Derek watching her scurry to her car. "She really hates me now."

"Looks like it," said Mark bluntly.

* * *

**OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhh can anyone say awkward?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Well it's 10am," said Derek the next morning.

"Yeah I noticed," said Mark taking a large drink of his coffee. "I already lost a burn victim, waste of perfectly good skin if you ask me."

"She hasn't called yet."

"Who? That chick from Saturday?"

"Meredith," said Derek. "She said she would call so I could see Abby."

"Right, sorry I forgot," said Mark. "She's probably still asleep.. jet lag and stuff."

"Should I call her?" Derek asked anxiously. "I got her a present."

"Who? Meredith?"

"No I bought Abby a present this morning, but should I call Meredith? I just can't wait to see Abby…"

"Well you haven't seen her for 6 months what difference is a few more hours," said Mark lazily.

"When you have kids you'll understand," said Derek. He wasn't angry at Mark for being insensitive, he just didn't understand what it was to be a father.

"I pray to God that never happens, the poor kid would end up in a padded cell before it's 1st birthday."

Just then Mark and Derek turned as they heard a scream. Suddenly a little child came flying from down the corridor. It was Abby. Alex scurrying after her wearing a Shrek mask, and making monster noises.

"Monster! Monster! Monster!" Abby squealed as she ran round the nurses station. "Mummeeeee Monster! Alex Monster!"

"ARGGGHHHH Feee Fi Fooo Fumb I smell the blood of a little one," Alex grunted in his monster voice. "And I'm going to eat her up!"

"No… No eatin' me," Abby squealed.

"ARRRRGGGGHHHH"

"AHHHHHHH Jorrrgggeeeee," Abby squealed as she spotted George coming out of the room behind Derek and Mark. "He's eaten me!"

"He can't do that," laughed George as Abby ran to him and he scooped her up into his arms. "Come on Alex you'll scare her."

"Not scared," said Abby definitely.

"Of course she's not scared, she's tough," said Alex taking off his mask.

"Where is Mer?" asked George.

"With Tina," said Abby smugly. "Play again? Play again!"

"Sorry Princess later," said Alex. "I have to go and cut people open now."

"Make them all better, like Mummy?"

"Yeah, only I do it much better than your Mummy," said Alex. "You okay to watch her? Meredith is having coffee with Cristina in the cafeteria, just take her there if you have to go."

"Okay," said George placing Abby back on the ground.

"Color…Color! Lets color," squealed Abby as she clapped her hands.

"Okay," said George putting Abby on the chair at a nearby desk. "You color and I'll do charts."

"Okay," said Abby taking out her crayons.

Just then George's pager went off. "Oh 911…Abby I have to take…crap…" he muttered.

"Dr. O'Malley, I'll look after her and take her back to her mother," said Derek.

"Oh are you sure?" asked George looking between him and Abby uncertainly.

"I'm positive," said Derek sharply.

"Okay," said George bending down to Abby. "I'm going to leave you with this man, okay? Do you remember him?"

"Ummm…that's Daddy?" said Abby looking up at Derek.

"Yeah that's your Daddy," said George.

"He bought me Mandy," said Abby, meaning the doll Derek had given her on his last trip. "Hi Daddy."

"Hi sweetheart," said Derek sitting on the chair next to her. "What are you drawing?"

"My new house," said Abby. "And there is Alex and Bizzie and Mommy and me."

"Are you moving house?" asked Derek feeling guilty that he was using his daughter to get information.

"Uh huh and it has a big seat swing," said Abby still coloring in furiously.

"And you live with Alex and Izzie?"

"Uh huh," said Abby. "Daddy where you live?"

"I live in the middle of a magical forest and there is a big lake there and lots of room to play," said Derek handing Abby a crayon.

"Do you have a baby?" asked Abby.

"I have a little girl…"

"Do you stay in her house? I not have a Daddy," said Abby. "I have a Mummy though."

"Abby I'm your Daddy."

"Daddy is your name silly," said Abby. "Can I go see Mummy now?"

"Yeah," said Derek slowly. "I'll take you to see her now."

"You want a picture?" asked Abby holding out the picture she had just drawn.

"Thank you," said Derek taking the picture. "Come on we'll find your Mummy."

"Okay," said Abby jumping down and taking Derek's hand.

* * *

"She thinks Daddy is my name," said Derek to Meredith. He had taken Abby to the cafeteria and found Meredith, he had asked her for a quiet word.

"She does?" said Meredith.

"Yeah she thinks Daddy is my name, she told me she doesn't have a Daddy."

"I'm sorry," said Meredith. "I'll talk to her about it. She's only a year old, she doesn't understand that you can have a Dad that doesn't live with you."

"You never thought to explain it to her," said Derek angrily yet calmly.

"It never came up," said Meredith. "She didn't really talk about you."

"Well thanks for that," said Derek.

"What did you want me to do? She's a baby," said Meredith.

"I want to see her more than once every six months," said Derek. "I want her to know who I am."

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yes alright I agree. Abby should see you more than once every six months, I grew up without my father because my mother decided that was best for me. I'm not going to do that to Abby and I haven't. I have never made it difficult for you to see her."

"You moved to Boston."

"I had to get away from you!"

"You didn't have to stay away," sighed Derek. He had deserved that, and he knew he was the reason she had left in the first place.

"I know," said Meredith uncertainly. "And if everything goes well next week, I'll be moving back to Seattle. So you can see as much of Abby as you'd like, I'll never stop you."

"You're coming back?"

"It's a definite possibility," said Meredith dryly.

"With Abby?"

"Well I'm not going to leave her behind, am I?"

"Can I see her today?" asked Derek. "I want to take her to the park or something."

"Okay," said Meredith. "I'll pack her bag, if you pick her up at my house in an hour."

"I'll be there."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Hi I'm not late am I?" asked Derek. Meredith had just answered the door to him, he couldn't see Abby anywhere.

"No you're right on time," said Meredith. "We're actually running a little late, Abby is in the kitchen picking out what ribbons she wants in her hair."

"Okay," said Derek. "I thought I'd show her the trailer, it's pretty windy too so I got a kite."

"She'll like that," said Meredith. "She loves bright colors."

"Food? What food does she like now? Before it was the baby jar stuff."

"Oh she doesn't get those anymore, she can have proper food now. Only…I don't let her have fast food like McDonalds unless it's a special occasion. Obviously when you have her it's up to you, I just want her to eat properly…you know not eat left over grilled cheese for breakfast."

"I understand," said Derek.

"And she only gets dessert or treats if she eats enough," said Meredith. "Also she isn't a huge fan of green vegetables but she'll eat them if you mix them with mash potato, but she does like carrots and tomatoes."

"Okay, got it," said Derek.

"Oh and I talked to her about the whole Daddy thing, and with the use of two cardboard boxes and three dolls I think I got through to her," said Meredith.

"Thanks for that."

"Mommy can I have green?" Abby shouted as she ran through from the kitchen. She had changed, now she was wearing a purple dress with thick black tights and black patent shoes, she had picked the outfit out herself.

"I told you to pick purple," said Meredith.

"Pease," Abby pleaded. "Pease, pease."

"Alright, alright," laughed Meredith sitting on the sofa and putting Abby on her knee and she put the ribbons in Abby's hair.

"You be a good girl for your Daddy okay?"

"I will," said Abby seriously. "I'll be good."

"Okay," said Meredith. "You're going to have dinner with him too, okay?"

"Okay."

"Show how big you've gotten and that you can eat all your food up now," said Meredith.

"Okay," said Abby obviously anxious to go.

"Alright then," said Meredith putting Abby's coat on her. "Derek you have my cell phone number."

"Uh no I don't," said Derek. "I only have your home and work number in Boston."

"Right sorry I forgot," said Meredith she quickly scribbled the number on the pad next to the phone and handed Derek the piece of paper. "Here it is, call me if you have any problem with her."

"We'll be fine, won't we?" said Derek picking Abby up.

"Yup," laughed Abby.

* * *

"So she was alright?" Meredith asked. Derek had brought Abby back ten minutes ago, she was already asleep. Meredith had changed Abby into her pajamas and put her to bed.

"She was fine," smiled Derek. "I think she just wore herself out, she loved the kite by the way."

"I knew she would," said Meredith.

"So when do you fly back to Boston?"

"A week tomorrow," said Meredith. "It should only take a week or two to wrap things up there and then we'll come back."

"You'll move back here for good?"

"The Chief offered me a five year contract," said Meredith. "After five years I don't know, it would depend how settled Abby is I won't move her around if I think I won't be good for her."

"You might leave again?"

"I might," said Meredith. "I don't regret leaving Seattle when I was pregnant, it was the best thing for me and Abby…"

"It wasn't," said Derek quietly even though he was furious. "You should have stayed, you shouldn't have ran away. If we couldn't salvage our relationship we would have worked something out and I wouldn't be just getting to know my daughter two years later."

"I never stopped you seeing Abby," said Meredith still keeping her voice down. "I called you when I found out I was pregnant and I never kept you from her. I could have just kept quiet and not told you about her, and I thought about it. But I couldn't do it! So maybe we will never agree on this but getting away from you was the best thing for me and for Abby, she didn't need a mother who was a mess."

"I should go," said Derek, he never could face that he had broken Meredith's heart and driven her from Seattle.

"Then go," sighed Meredith.

"Can I see Abby again," he asked.

"Yes," said Meredith. "I'll be at the hospital most of the week, so you can let me know when you have the time."

"Okay," said Derek. "Bye."

"Bye,"

* * *

"So how is your first day back going?" Richard asked Meredith the next day.

"Very well, sir," said Meredith.

"How are you coping being away from the baby?"

"I'm worried about her," said Meredith. "In Boston she knew the people in Daycare that looked after her and she had friends. I'm going to get her when I get off for lunch just to check she's okay."

"Our Daycare is first class," Richard assured her.

"I know but…"

"You're her mother, it's your job to worry about her."

"Exactly," said Meredith.

"I have had some very good reports about you today, according to some of our surgeons you will be a great asset to our Neurosurgery department."

"Some?"

"Well…I haven't spoken to everyone," Richard stuttered uncomfortably.

"I think I can guess who wouldn't have anything nice to say about me," said Meredith. "It's okay, Derek and I…I don't think we will ever get along great."

"I could have a word with him…"

"No, that is not necessary," said Meredith firmly. "If he doesn't want me here fine. I want to go into Neuro but this is not the only hospital in Seattle. Let him act like a child!"

"Seattle Grace has the best surgical program in the state," said Richard. "You are not a second rate surgeon, you shouldn't be in a second rate program!"

"I'd rather be a great mother than a great surgeon," said Meredith. "Abby doesn't need us to be at each others throats because we can't get along at work."

"If there is anything I can do…"

"Thank you," said Meredith. "But you've done enough."

Richard had her transferred to Boston General and gave her a glowing reference to be sure that she would be accepted. He had also helped her when she moved and didn't have enough savings for a deposit on the house, so he had lent her some.

"Well I'd love to meet Abby," said Richard.

"Well if you're not busy when I get her at lunchtime I'll bring her up to meet you. I'm sure she'd love to meet you, she still sleeps with that teddy bear you sent her at Christmas, she called it Charlotte."

"I'd like that," smiled Richard.

"I should go," said Meredith. "I have to get these results to Dr. Shepherd before I can operate."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

"What were you talking to Richard about?" Derek enquired. He had been at the nurses station across the open plan from them.

"His head of Neuro being a prize prick," said Meredith as she updated her patient's chart.

"Dr. Grey," said Derek sharply.

"Sorry that was unprofessional," she sighed. "But seriously can't you just lay off because I don't see what I have done that is so terrible."

"You haven't done anything," Derek sighed.

"Then what is your problem, you've been treating me like leper all day?"

"I don't have a problem," said Derek. "I have some free time this afternoon…"

"Abby and I are having lunch with the Chief," said Meredith. "I haven't added you to the list in Daycare yet, you can't take her out on your own. I'll add you tonight when I pick her up."

"Fine," Derek snapped.

"Oh come on," said Meredith. "You can see her tomorrow."

"I said fine!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Dr. Osborne," said Meredith the next day. "I am attempting to save your patient's life but you can't seem to fill out the proper paper work correctly."

Luke Osborne was an 5th year ER resident, he had transferred to Seattle Grace from Boston General three weeks earlier. Luke and Meredith had seen quite a lot of each other in Boston. They had dated for a few months before Meredith had ended it because she couldn't commit to having a boyfriend, a child and a full time job. They ended up as just friends with a few extras, then he moved to Seattle.

"Look it's…" he snapped. Then he saw Meredith standing there smiling at him with one raised eyebrow. "Well, well, well. What are you doing here?"

"I work here unlike some," said Meredith throwing the paperwork at him. "What do you think this is?"

"Give it here," he laughed. He quickly scanned the papers. "Sorry this is a mess. I'll sort it, these damn interns are clueless."

"I agree," said Meredith. "We whip them up on surgical."

"I'll try that," said Luke. "I'll fill this out for you now."

"Thank you," said Meredith. "So how do you like this place?"

"It's exactly how you told me it would be," said Luke as he filled out the paperwork properly. "The surgeons are off their heads, every single one of them."

"And the ER interns don't know their asses from their esophagus," said Meredith. "I was hoping I would run into you."

"Miss me that much?"

"You wish?" Meredith laughed.

"So what are you doing here? Came chasing after me?"

"Abby's father is here," said Meredith seriously. "I came here for her."

"You staying?"

"For the foreseeable future," said Meredith.

"Wanna have lunch? In a proper place not the crappy hospital food?"

"How about the bar across the street at 2pm?"

"I'll be there," said Luke.

"Okay then," smiled Meredith. "I'm going to save this man's life and you can go and whip your interns."

"There you go," said Luke handing her the paperwork. "How is Abby?"

"She's fine," said Meredith. "See you at lunch."

"See you."

* * *

"Thanks for lunch," said Meredith as she and Luke returned from lunch.

"Who is that?" Izzie gasped as she spotted Meredith and Luke.

"You're welcome," said Luke. "It was great to catch up with you again."

"You too," said Meredith. "I forgot how much you made me laugh."

"So tell me how much have you missed me?"

"Missed you? I thought I had finally gotten rid of you," Meredith laughed.

"Gotten rid of me? You chased me to Seattle."

"Oh ha ha you're funny!"

"So when do I get to see you again?" asked Luke.

"I don't know," said Meredith. "My life hasn't changed that much…I'm spending my day off with Abby."

"Bring Abby too," said Luke. "Come on, just an hour. We can take her to the park or something, you know feed the ducks and other stuff you do with kids."

"How many kids do you have again?"

"Alright, alright I'm not big into kids but…yours was pretty cute last time I saw her."

"She was asleep," said Meredith bluntly.

"It will be fine, kids love me."

"Yeah you are the same mental age as them," laughed Meredith. "Fine 11am, at the swing park."

"See you then," said Luke.

"Luke," said Meredith. Right before he had left Boston he had been in a car accident. "The scratches are gone. You look good."

"That's because I'm looking at you," he said smoothly as he got in the elevator.

"Who is that?" Izzie repeated loud enough for Meredith to hear her.

"An old friend," said Meredith still smiling.

"He's hot," said Izzie. "And he looks kinda familiar."

"He's the new resident in the ER," said Cristina. "Obo…or something."

"Osborne," Meredith corrected.

"Whatever," said Cristina disinterested.

"So what's the deal with you two, you're just back in town?" asked Izzie.

"I worked with him in Boston," Meredith shrugged. "Anyway I have to get back to work."

"You know Dr. Osborne?" asked Derek who had overheard everything.

"Yes he worked at Boston General," said Meredith exasperated by the interrogation. "How was Abby with you today?"

"She was fine," said Derek stiffly. "She ate all her lunch and she's back in daycare."

"Okay, thank you," said Meredith.

"So you're taking her to the park tomorrow to feed the ducks and other kiddy stuff?" he asked.

"Yes," said Meredith simply. "Is that a problem?"

"Would it make a difference?"

"No," said Meredith happily. "How long will you keep this up for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," said Meredith rolling her eyes. "Whatever it is, cut it out! I want to come back here, I don't want to work in Mercy West so please whatever you need to say to me just say it!"

"How is Abby around strange men?"

"He's not a stranger to her," said Meredith. "She's met him a few times, and she seems alright with you."

"I'm her father."

"And she had to be told that," snapped Meredith. "I mean it Derek cut the crap! Who I see or don't see has nothing to do with you so keep your nose out! How is Rose by the way?"

* * *

"Derek what is going on? I heard what happened, the whole damn hospital heard what happened," said Richard as he stormed into Derek's office.

"Yeah I'm sorry," sighed Derek. He was sitting in his chair rubbing his chin.

"What was it?"

"Meredith's mad at me, she has a date with an ER resident, she's taking Abby. She already knows this guy apparently," said Derek. "I think I was an ass about it."

"I would say so," said Richard. "You need to pull yourself together. I'm not saying I know the ins and outs of what went on between the two of you, but keep this up and you'll push them away. You keep this up with Meredith and she won't come back to Seattle Grace and I'll kill you, she is the best I've seen in a long time and I want her here! And in the end the only person you'll end up hurting is yourself and your little daughter. Is that what you want?"

"Of course it isn't," said Derek. "I just…it's Meredith and…I don't know."

"Well get it together I won't have you treat any of staff like that!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"What do you want?" Meredith sighed. Abby had been put to bed hours ago, Derek had just rang her doorbell. She opened the screen door and let him in.

"I want to apologise. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

"I was an ass and I shouldn't have treated you the way I did," said Derek. "I admit I hated the idea of you and Abby with that ER resident."

"He's someone I worked with in Boston," said Meredith. "We dated for a little while last year but I couldn't commit to anything because I have Abby and my job. We're still good friends though, one of the only friends I had in Boston. But I can't give him what he wants and he knows that."

"Always the commitment-phobe," said Derek almost bitterly.

"Abby is my priority not getting a husband," said Meredith. "I'm happy with my life the way it is. One day when I find the right guy, I will get married and have more kids but I haven't found the right guy yet so don't worry Abby isn't getting a step-Dad anytime soon."

"Pretty optimistic for you."

"What can I say?" smiled Meredith. "Maybe happily ever after does exist, maybe prince charming does too. But the love of my life is out there, I do believe that now. I just haven't come across him yet."

"You were the love of my life," said Derek unable to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"Once, maybe," said Meredith. "But not anymore."

"What if I'm not so sure?" asked Derek.

"Well I'm sure enough for both us," said Meredith. After an awkward pause. "Thank you for the apology. I hope we can be friends one day, for Abby's sake and my career."

"Me too," said Derek tilting his head and giving her the McDreamy look.

"You can start by not giving me that look," said Meredith smiling at little. She remembered that look very well.

"What look?"

"The McDreamy look," she said.

"It has a look?" asked Derek.

"Yes McDreamy has a look, when you tilt your and look up at me with those big baby blues…that look probably lead to Abby's conception."

"Oh so…it's a sex look?"

"Um…no not really you have a sex look too but it's different."

"It just leads to sex then?"

"Most of the time," she said.

"So it's like this," said Derek tilting his head.

"You're not funny," she laughed. "I'm just not going to look at you now."

"Alright I'll stop, you have absolutely no self control. It's sad really," said Derek. "I should probably go, I just wanted to apologise."

"I appreciate it," said Meredith. "I don't want to be fighting with you."

"Me either," said Derek. "Bye."

"Bye," said Meredith.

"Oh and I'm not dating Rose or anyone else for that matter. Rose…she was never you."

"Goodbye Derek," said Meredith.

"Goodbye Meredith," said Derek almost sadly. He opened the door was outside on the porch before he heard Meredith say,

"Thanks."

When Derek left Meredith felt awful. She had lied to him. She didn't believe that he wasn't the love of her life, he was and he always would be. But she had to lie to him, she had to make it perfectly clear that there was no chance of them ever getting back together. She knew Derek, a few weeks of spending time with Abby and seeing her with Abby and he would want to get back together and give them another try. For a while it would be all bright and shiny, but they were Dark & Twisty and McDreamy, they wouldn't work, they hadn't before and they wouldn't again. Meredith wasn't willing to risk their daughter's future happiness just for a few months of happiness with Derek. She knew Derek would never hurt Abby but he was an optimist he would believe that they would live happily ever after. Real life just didn't work out like that.

* * *

_'He had never been the love of her life'_

Derek couldn't get what Meredith had said out of his head. He wasn't her prince Charming, he was just another ex-boyfriend only he had gotten her pregnant. He had hurt her too much for her to even remember how they had once felt about each other. Derek remembered, he remembered all too well. He remembered his initial attraction to her at Joe's the first night they met, although back then she was just a hot woman in a hot dress and he had needed somebody, anybody. He remembered his curiosity when she had refused to go out with him that morning in the stairwell when he found out she was an intern. He remembered the lust that had lasted throughout their entire relationship, in fact the lust had lasted way beyond their relationship even now Derek would happily lock her in an on call room and have his wicked way with her. He remembered the fondness he felt for her even while he was still chasing her. Most of all he remembered the love, it had hit him like a ton of bricks, he had been standing in the scrub room right before he had uttered those words. _'Yeah she's my wife.'_ He remembered the jealousy that burned through his veins when he saw her with Finn and then again yesterday with Dr. Osborne, he was becoming very familiar with envy now. There was frustration, Meredith frustrated him more than any other woman had. Meredith hadn't fallen at his feet, she hadn't jumped at the chance of a future with him, she wouldn't give him what he wanted even though he knew she wanted it. She had wanted a normal life with him, the house, a family she had wanted it but she was afraid of it. Now she had the domestic family life, without him.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next day Derek came to pick up Abby to take her swimming after work. Meredith let him in the house, he stood waiting in the living room.

"Where's Abby?" he asked looking around.

"She's upstairs with Izzie picking out her favorite swimming costume," said Meredith. "Sit down they might be a while, she has about seven and Izzie bought her more yesterday."

"Alright," said Derek sitting on the couch. "So…how was your date?"

"It wasn't a date," said Meredith rolling her eyes. She sat down on the armchair opposite Derek and started to fold the laundry that was in front of her. "We just went to the park with Abby."

"Did she have fun?"

"Yeah she loved feeding the ducks," said Meredith. "How was your day?"

"Fine," said Derek. "So did he walk you home?"

"I took the car," said Meredith trying not to sound annoyed.

"Did he walk you to the car then?"

"Derek that is pathetic," she couldn't help but laugh. "Wouldn't it be easier to ask if I kissed him?"

"Did you?"

"None of your business," she laughed. "Did you kiss your date on Saturday?"

"How did you…"

"Yeah Mark can't keep a secret," said Meredith. "Cindy I think he said her name was."

"Caroline," Derek corrected.

"He got the first letter right at least," said Meredith. Then she added seriously. "We can't get involved in each other's love lives, you know that. So don't ask about my dates and I won't ask about yours, it just makes it a lot easier to be friends with your ex if you don't have to hear about your replacement."

"She isn't your replacement."

"And Luke isn't yours," said Meredith. "I couldn't replace you anyway. Abby can't have another Dad."

"Daddeeee," Abby cried as she ran down the stairs. "We go swimming?"

"Yeah we're going swimming," said Derek scooping her up into his arms.

"Mummy come too?"

"No Mummy has things to do at home," said Meredith quickly. "It's just you and Daddy."

"Oh okay," said Abby then she looked up at Derek. "We go now?"

"Yeah we can go now," said Derek picking up her swimming bag. "I missed you today."

"I missed you Daddy," said Abby sweetly. "We have ice cream after?"

"She's learning the art of manipulation from Cristina very quickly. Don't let her get away with it," said Meredith warningly. "We don't want a spoiled little brat on our hands."

"Mummy I a princess," said Abby. "Daddy said so."

"You are a princess," said Meredith. "Be good for Daddy."

"Okay," said Abby then she whispered to Derek. "We not tell Mummy I have ice cream."

"Supervised visits only with Cristina from now on I think," said Derek to Meredith, raising one eyebrow.

"I think that's a good idea," said Meredith. "Have fun both of you."

"Byeeee Mummeeeeee."

--

"She's sound asleep," said Derek. "After the fourth reading of sleeping beauty she finally dropped off."

"Yeah she loves fairy tales now," said Meredith. "She loves that she's Daddy's little princess, glass slippers and all."

"She is a princess," said Derek placing the book on the dining room table.

"Did she enjoy swimming?" asked Meredith.

"She did," smiled Derek. "She thought she was so clever when she jumped into the pool, she loved it when I picked her up and actually threw her in the water. Thank God for those water wings."

"I know," laughed Meredith. "If you turn your back for a second she has swam right up to the deep end."

"So…have I completely put you off coming back to Seattle Grace?" asked Derek. "I know I acted pretty poorly but…the place hasn't been the same without you and after seeing you in surgery yesterday I know that I definitely need you on my neurosurgery team."

"Not to mention Abby would be right downstairs in hospital daycare?"

"That too," said Derek.

"You haven't put me off," said Meredith. "Coming back to Seattle is best for Abby, I can't deny that. And if I went anywhere other than Seattle Grace I think the Chief would disown me."

"That is true," laughed Derek. "I'm glad you're coming back."

"Me too," said Meredith. "There are too many memories here for me, so…I just thought I should tell you that I've been looking at houses and this afternoon I found one. So after I tie things up in Boston we're moving house."

"Where to?" asked Derek. He couldn't explain it but he liked coming to Meredith's house, it held so many memories of when they were together, when they were happy. He wanted Abby to know that her parents had loved each other.

"Not far," said Meredith. "You can see the ferry boats from the upstairs window, she can see them from her bedroom."

"Why though?"

"Well living here with Alex and Izzie is alright but not exactly child friendly. The liquor sits on counters, more than once Abby has reached for it and Alex…he's trying but he can only keep it in his pants for so long and Abby doesn't need to see a different woman leaving the house every morning," said Meredith. "Anyway it will be quicker for you to pick Abby up, all you have to do it jump on a ferry."

"Yeah I guess. I just never thought you'd leave this place…it's you. It's the only place I've ever known you to live. It'll be weird."

"Yeah well this place doesn't hold very good memories for me," said Meredith. "I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in this house…when I was kid," she added hastily when she saw Derek's face. "Not just because of you."

"Right," said Derek. "I'm sorry I made you cry."

"Don't worry about it, I'm over it," said Meredith.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had waited for you, if you never found out about Rose or if I hadn't kissed her in the first place?" asked Derek carefully. "If Abby had been born here? Do you think we would have made it? We could have been married, built a house…"

"And lived happily ever after," Meredith finished for him.

"Yeah," said Derek.

"No," said Meredith simply. "I don't think we would have made it, I was a mess back then. I only got it together because I had no choice, because I was alone and I had to be okay and now I am."

"I think we would have been happy," said Derek. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

"We could argue it out for days and it wouldn't change the outcome," said Meredith. "We broke up, we had Abby, we are both dating, we're out there looking for the one and now we're friends that's the only way you need to think about things, okay?"

"Whatever, you're the boss," said Derek.

"It certainly makes a change," Meredith smiled.

"I should probably get going," said Derek. "I'll see you tomorrow at the hospital."

"Yeah," said Meredith. "Bye."

"Bye," said Derek he turned and walked to the front door then she turned back. "I have missed you, I've missed talking to you and…I just missed you."

"Yeah me too," said Meredith.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"So Meredith I need your opinion on these napkins before you leave," said Izzie.

In a moment of madness Meredith had agreed to let her organize Abby's birthday party and Izzie being Izzie had gone into overdrive. Abby and Meredith were flying back to Boston the next morning for a week before moving back to Seattle permanently.

"She's turning two, Abby does not care about napkins. All she cares about are presents, cake and the bouncy castle I promised her," said Meredith. "She won't notice anything else."

"I also had some thoughts on the bouncy castle…" said Izzie pulling out catalogues.

"I really do appreciate everything you're doing," sighed Meredith. "But I don't have time to agonize over every little thing. But the bouncy castle, if you can find a purple one designed like a princess castle then that would be perfect. Abby's in going through a major princess phase."

"Purple and princesses," said Izzie scribbling furiously on her party pad.

"Yes," said Meredith. "Can I go and try to get some sleep now?"

"Oh yeah uh huh," said Izzie. "Purple is definitely her favorite color?"

"It was yesterday," said Meredith.

"Just one more thing? How many people are coming to the party?"

"Uh…Me, you, Cristina, Alex, George, Lexie…Molly and Laura I guess I should invite them…Derek, Mark, the Chief…Bailey, her kid, there are like 10 kids from daycare too. I think that's all so it's 11 adults, 12 kids give or take a few I might have forgotten."

"What about your Dad? I mean if your sisters are coming…"

"No. No way!" said Meredith. "Thatcher is getting nowhere near Abby."

"Alright just checking."

"I've hit my limit on party talk now. I've had an hours sleep in two days, I need to sleep before the flight tonight," said Meredith. "We'll have a long talk about the party tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright," said Izzie.

Meredith turned and walked towards the on call rooms, she wasn't as tired as she knew she should be. She had asked the Chief to work nights, so that she could spend the day with Abby, as a result she didn't get much sleep unless Derek took Abby for the day. It was funny how they had settled into a routine even though she had only been in Seattle for a week. Even though she wasn't tired, Meredith knew she should get some sleep, she had a lot to do in Boston before they could move back.

Eventually she found an on call room that wasn't full or locked. There was someone on the top bunk though. So Meredith just crept in took off her shoes and lay down on the bottom bunk.

"Where is Abby?" Derek asked. He was lying on the top bunk but he couldn't sleep.

"George has the night off, I put her to bed earlier so George is staying over," said Meredith.

"I've been thinking about our situation and when you both move back I think there has to be some changes," said Derek still just staring up at the ceiling he had been thinking it over for a while now.

"What kind of changes?" asked Meredith. "I know I'm going to have to hire someone to be there with Abby when I'm at work but I'll take care of it."

"No I didn't mean that, although I guess it's inevitable that we will have to do that," said Derek. "I just meant that we both have joint custody of Abby, that is the legal arrangement, right?"

"Yes," said Meredith cautiously. "Do you have a problem with that arrangement?"

"No, not a problem as such," said Derek choosing his words very carefully.

"Then what?"

"I just thought we could talk to the Chief and see if we can try alternating our shifts wherever possible. It doesn't seem fair that you have to work the night shift and get no sleep," said Derek. "So if we took turns then Abby would always be with one of us every day, but we won't be too exhausted to enjoy our time with her. Obviously there are times when both of us will have to work and then yeah we will have to hire someone but…what do you think?"

"Sounds like a good idea," said Meredith. She had to admit it did make sense. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind giving up your days sleep?"

"Mind? Meredith she's my daughter. Do you mind giving up your days sleep?"

"That's different," said Meredith. "I'm her mother…"

"I'm her father," Derek pointed out.

"I know but it's still different. I've always been the one that looked after her all the time."

"And I haven't," said Derek. "I'm her parent too, and I've already missed so much and I don't want to miss anymore and while I know that she will always live with you I want to raise her too."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm sorry, I sometimes forget that she's your child too. It's weird for me to think of anyone that could love Abby as much as I do, I guess you're the only other person in the world that can and it's weird."

"Yeah I guess," said Derek. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I got a few hours yesterday," said Meredith. "I'm used to no sleep, especially when Abby was teething, she would scream all day everyday and 12 hour shifts at night. I swear I almost called you for help."

"You should have," said Derek. "I would have flown right there if I knew you needed help."

"I know you would have," said Meredith. "I didn't want you to worry that I couldn't cope. It was only for a few weeks."

"We weren't great at communicating back then," Derek commented. Meredith only used to call him when she absolutely had to, usually to return his call about his next visit.

"Have we ever been any good at communicating?"

"We seem to doing okay now," said Derek.

"Because we have Abby and we're not involved anymore," said Meredith. "We're both over it."

"Right," Derek muttered.

"I'm never going to sleep," Meredith moaned more to herself than Derek. "I might as well eat."

"When is your flight?" asked Derek not wanting her to leave.

"9am," said Meredith. "I'll call you if you want to say goodnight to Abby."

"Yeah," said Derek. "You're just going for a week, right?"

"Yeah," said Meredith jumping off the bed. "Don't worry I'm not running again."

"Good," said Derek getting off his bed and following Meredith to the door. "I don't think I'd let you run away again."

Meredith turned round her back pressed against the door, she gasped when she realised Derek was standing right in front of her. She was suddenly very aware of him standing so close to her, she could see his broad shoulders and strong arms. He was right there, closer to her than he had been in almost three years, he still smelled the same and he still had the same effect on her, as if there was a cloud of smoke circling her head and she couldn't think straight.

"So Mer?" asked Derek slyly.

"What?" she asked hesitantly keeping her eyes trained on the floor. Even though it was pitch black in the room, she knew if she looked up at him she would feel things she wasn't allowed to feel for Derek anymore.

"Did you really miss me?"

"Did you really miss me?" she asked.

"Yeah I did," said Derek seriously.

"I know it wasn't all your fault," Meredith blurted out. "In fact I'm pretty sure it was me that really ended us, I just used you kissing Rose as the final straw. But it wasn't all you, I just wanted to tell you that."

"Thanks," said Derek. "What I did was the final nail in the coffin and it was wrong and I'm sorry."

"I know you are," said Meredith.

"So?" he whispered into her ear. "Did you miss me?"

"Maybe," she whispered letting her hand slide up to rest on his shoulder.

Derek smirked and leaned in towards her, Meredith's breath hitched she knew what was coming. She knew she should stop it, but she was frozen to the spot and she seemed to have lost the capacity to speak. So she did what came naturally she leaned in and their lips met, softly at first as if it wasn't really happening. Then Derek pressed closer his lips parting and moving against hers. Her mouth followed suit, opening just a bit not sure if she was doing the right thing and not really caring. Derek tilted his head pushing his tongue past his lips and into her mouth. Then Meredith knew there was no going back, so she might as well enjoy it. Derek slid his hands down her body from her cheek down to her waist and he pushed her further against the door, memorizing every inch of her. Meredith rested both of her delicate hands on his strong shoulder, clinging on to him. Reluctantly Derek had to pull away as oxygen had become an issue.

"You should not be allowed to be that good at that," Meredith panted.

"Good at what?" asked Derek his breathing a little ragged. "This?" he said leaning in and kissing her again.

"Uh huh," said Meredith when the kiss ended. "It shouldn't be allowed."

Just then Derek's pager started to vibrate, against Meredith's stomach.

"Unless you've learned some new tricks, I think you're needed somewhere else," said Meredith.

"Damn it!" Derek snatched his pager from his waistband. "I have to take this."

"Then go," said Meredith. "I have a plane to catch anyway."

"Can I see you before you leave?" asked Derek. They had to talk about what had just happened.

"Abby and I are leaving for the airport at 7am, drop by to say goodbye anytime before then," said Meredith acting as if nothing had just happened.

"Okay, I'll try," said Derek reaching for the door handle and leaving Meredith alone in the room.

* * *

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Daddeee," Abby sang down the phone. Abby and Meredith had been in Boston for a week and were at the airport waiting for their flight back to Seattle. Their clothes and furniture were being shipped separately. Abby had been wanting to talk to Derek for an hour so Meredith finally called him.

"I miss you," said Abby. "I going on a big plane again…we play kite again? I going to be two…a cake? Mummy Daddy says I get a cake when I two."

"Yes Izzie is baking you a cake," said Meredith.

"Daddeee can you give Mummy a sister for me?" asked Abby innocently causing Meredith to splutter her coffee everywhere. "Put a sister in her tummy like you did when I got born…Daddy are you gone?"

"Uh Abby we better let your Daddy get back to work," said Meredith trying to not show the panic in her voice. "Say bye."

"Bye bye Daddy," said Abby disappointed.

"We gotta go," said Meredith taking the phone from Abby.

"She wants a sister?" said Derek on the other end of the phone.

"It's the first I've heard of it," said Meredith.

"Well…" Derek started suggestively.

"Bye," said Meredith forcefully. "I'll bring Abby to see you in the morning."

"Alright bye," Derek chuckled.

"Bye."

* * *

"Hey how is my princess?" said Derek scooping a screaming Abby into his arms. He had met them at their new house almost as soon as they arrived.

"Daddeeeeee," shouted Abby. "You miss me?"

"Of course I missed you," said Derek. "You were gone far too long."

"Soweeee," said Abby. "I packed toys and Lottie."

"Charlotte the doll you gave her," Meredith explained.

"Right," said Derek.

"Daddy can I have a sister?" Abby asked. "I'll look after her I promise…please."

"A sister isn't a pet," said Meredith.

"Maybe when you're older," said Derek earning him a glare from Meredith.

"Bexie your baby sister," said Abby. "She told me, you look after her cause Tina a bitch."

"Abby," said Meredith very seriously. "You know that is a bad word."

"Bexie said it," said Abby turning her head and burrowing it in her father's shoulder.

"Lexie should not have said that word to you, but you know that is bad word and you are not allowed to say it," said Meredith taking Abby out of Derek's arms and placed her on the floor. Meredith bent down to face level with her. "That is two minutes on the naughty seat."

"No," said Abby her eyes watering.

"Yes," said Meredith firmly. "Two minutes on the naughty seat because that is a bad word."

"Sorry Mummy," said Abby tearfully.

"Thank you for apologizing," said Meredith. "But you still have to go to the naughty seat."

"Daddy," said Abby tugging on Derek's arm.

"Do as your Mum says," said Derek kindly. He had never seen Meredith discipline Abby before.

"Abby go to the naughty seat right now or it will be for three minutes," said Meredith.

Abby stuck her bottom lip out but still walked into the dining room and pulled out a seat and climbed on.

"Naughty seat?" said Derek.

"Yeah, she has a naughty seat," said Meredith. "If she does something bad she sits there for two minutes, then she apologizes and gets a hug. If she has a tantrum and won't go I increase the time."

"How long as she sat there for?" asked Derek. He wasn't sure he approved of isolating Abby is she did something bad.

"I think the longest was four minutes," said Meredith.

"But she's still a baby," said Derek glancing over at Abby worriedly.

"She still knows the difference between right and wrong. I explain to her what she did wrong and why it was wrong, and then it's over," said Meredith knowing Derek was cautious about punishing Abby in any sort of way, as any absent father would be.

"Can't you just not give her dessert?"

"No," said Meredith. "That drags the punishment out until dinner time. Honestly Derek if you want to punish by not giving her dessert then that's fine, you do that when you have her. But here with me I use the naughty seat, when I have to."

"But…" said Derek helplessly as the glanced at Abby again.

"Okay Abby, you can come back now," Meredith called to her.

Abby immediately jumped off the chair and ran back into the room.

"Sorry I said the bad word Mummy," said Abby.

"That's okay, and you won't do it again?" said Meredith bending down.

"No," said Abby shaking her head furiously.

"Good girl," smiled Meredith. She reached her arms out and pulled Abby into a hug. "Love you sweetheart."

"Love you too Mummy," said Abby hugging Meredith back. "I show Daddy my room?"

"Yes on you go," said Meredith.

"Daddy I see boats from my windows," Abby shouted as she tugged Derek by the hand towards her new bedroom.

"Ferries," said Derek. "Ferry boats."

"The huge boats."

* * *

"You were right about this place," said Derek. He had just put Abby to bed and came downstairs to find Meredith in the kitchen unpacking boxes.

"What do you mean?" she asked barely looking up.

"You can see the ferries from Abby's window," said Derek. "And the garden is great for Abby to play in."

"I know," said Meredith.

"It's closer to my place too," said Derek.

"Yeah it'll be easier for you to pick her up after work, since it's on your way home anyway," said Meredith as she pulled out an unfamiliar object. "What is this?"

"It's a wok," said Derek smiling at her confusion.

"It's like a frying pan only more like a big bowl," said Meredith. "I don't own a frying bowl."

"You use it to make stir fry and stuff," said Derek.

"Yeah like there is anyway I could make that," she scoffed.

"Meredith," he said seriously. "Are we going to talk about what happened last week?"

"What do you mean?"

"We kissed."

"Uh…yeah we did," said Meredith looking down at the appliances she was unpacking.

"What does it mean?" Derek pressed.

"Nothing. It means nothing, it was just a moment of weakness."

"Weakness?" said Derek. "You consider…

"I consider you one of my major weaknesses," said Meredith. "I was exhausted and…"

"Are you convincing me or you?" asked Derek.

"Both!"

"Always the avoider," said Derek. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Yeah see you," said Meredith. That wasn't like Derek, he didn't usually accept her avoidance he usually made her deal with things. She wasn't sure if she was glad or not.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"That was amazing," said Meredith. She and Derek had just completed a complicated surgery on a patient. "You just cut a man's brain in half…wow."

"No, we cut a man's brain in half," said Derek. "That was great work."

"Thank you," said Meredith.

"So has Abby said anymore about wanting a sister?" asked Derek.

"No thank god," said Meredith. "She seems to have forgotten about that, now she wants a pony."

"We could get her a pony," said Derek. "There is more than enough room on my land for stables."

"Seriously!"

"Why not?"

"We are not going to just buy her a pony, just because she wants one. She's two she'll forget about it as quickly as she forgot about having a sister," Meredith exclaimed. "You are far too soft on her, you spoil her."

"So? She's a little girl, what's so wrong with spoiling her?"

"I give it three months," said Meredith rolling her eyes.

"Give what three months?" asked Derek as he followed Meredith out of the scrub room.

"For you to realise the problem with giving Abby every little thing she wants," said Meredith. "The tantrums when you can't take her to Saturn or let her slice someone's head open like you do. She's a toddler she's irrational and you can't reason with her when she has a tantrum."

"Yeah she's a toddler, what's your excuse?"

"Very funny," said Meredith. "I am not irrational and unreasonable."

"Sure you're not," said Derek. "But think about the pony idea."

"No! No pony."

"What about a sister then?" asked Derek knowing how Meredith would react. "I have about twenty minutes before my next surgery we could get started on…"

"You're not funny!" she shouted her voice squeakier than normal. Derek just laughed at her. "I hate you!"

"You don't hate me," he said.

"Don't I?"

"No," said Derek quite seriously. "You don't hate me."

"Alright I don't hate you," said Meredith seeing that Derek didn't take it that well.

"Good."

"Derek I never truly hated you," she said softly. "I didn't."

"Wouldn't have blamed you if you did," said Derek looking out of the window.

"Well I didn't," said Meredith. "Never."

"Good," said Derek.

"Did you hate me for…not swimming."

"I was angry," Derek stated. "Confused but I have never hated you, not for a single second."

"Good," said Meredith. "I should get going, Izzie took Abby shopping. I said I'd meet them an hour ago."

"Mummeee," said stern little voice. "You late!"

"I know," said Meredith turning round to find Abby standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "Sorry Iz."

"It's fine," said Izzie. "But my shift is about to start."

"Yeah go," said Meredith. "Thank you."

"Okay, bye," said Izzie.

"Bye Bizzie," said Abby waving. "Mummy I was thinking…"

"You were? About what?" asked Meredith.

"Well…I want a sister," said Abby.

"We talked about this Abby," Meredith groaned.

"But please," Abby whined. "Tina said you and Daddy were good at making babies…please. I'll be good, please Mummy I want to play with a sister."

"Abby," said Meredith patiently. "It's a little more complicated than Daddy just putting a baby in my tummy, you'll have brothers and sisters one day but not just yet, okay?"

"Okay," sighed Abby. "Then how you get babies?"

"Uh…well…um," Meredith stuttered. She had not expected Abby to ask that question for a few years. "Daddy said he'll build you a stable for your pony."

"But I want a sister," said Abby stubbornly.

"Look at the time," said Meredith looking at her watch. "It's time for you to go to daycare."

"Daddy I really want a sister," said Abby looking up at Derek with her big eyes.

"I know you do," said Derek feeling guilty. "I promise you will get a brother or sister one day…"

"Half brother or sister," Meredith interrupted.

"What's a half sister?" asked Abby.

"Lexie is your Mummy's half sister," said Derek. "It means that they have the same Daddy but a different Mummy, or the same Mummy and a different Daddy."

"Oh…but I don't want a half sister I want a full sister," said Abby.

"I know you do," said Derek. "Come on I'll take you to Daycare and we'll talk about this later."

"Fine," said Abby not amused by her parents in the least. "Why don't you marry Mummy?"

"I'll take her to Daycare," said Meredith. "You have surgery remember?"

"Okay," said Derek. "I'll pick her up after my surgery and bring her home tonight."

"Okay," said Meredith taking Abby's hand.

* * *

"What is going on?" said Derek. He was dropping Abby off at Meredith's house, but when he got there it was a mess furniture was tipped over and there was stuff thrown everywhere. He found Meredith in the living room talking to two police officers. There had been a break in.

"Alright we'll call you if we find anything," said one of the police officers.

"Thank you," said Meredith.

"We'll see ourselves out," said the police office. "That back door should hold until the morning."

"Thanks," said Meredith.

"What happened?" asked Derek. Thankfully Abby had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and couldn't see what had happened.

"Uh…a break in," said Meredith looking around. "They forced open the back door came in and trashed the place."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I wasn't home," she said. "I just found it like this and called the cops. It's a mess. The Glacier came and boarded up the door. I should have set the burglar alarm, I just never thought we would need it so I never use it."

"It's okay, it's not your fault," said Derek whose arms were starting to ache from holding Abby. "This is a nice neighborhood, you could have known."

"Right," she mumbled. "Abby's room is fine, I cleared it up when I was waiting for the cops. I changed her bed sheets and fixed her nightlight. I looked out some clean pyjamas that were in the dryer, they're sitting on her bed."

"Okay," said Derek making his way up the stairs.

* * *

"Did she wake up?" Meredith asked worriedly when Derek came back down the stairs.

"No she's sound asleep," said Derek.

"Good I don't want her to be frightened."

"How are you doing?" asked Derek worriedly. He didn't want to leave Abby and

Meredith alone, especially tonight. He hated the thought of either of them feeling scared and alone.

"I'm fine," said Meredith. "I really am fine, not just saying I am."

"You shouldn't be alone tonight, I can…"

"No!" said Meredith before he could even finish. "I don't need you to stay with me. I'm a big girl now."

"But…"

"No, it's not you problem," said Meredith forcefully. "You are not my knight in shining whatever. Just get out!"

"Meredith…"

"Get out! Get out!" she screamed at him.

"Calm down," said Derek knowing he had no choice but to leave, no matter how much he hated it. When Meredith freaked out she pushed him away, and if he stayed anyway it would be worse. He had to leave. "I'm going."

"Good."

"Call me if you need you," said Derek. "Doesn't matter what time."

"I don't need you, and I never will again," said Meredith coldly. "Just go and pick up a nurse if you want someone to look after and need you."

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Derek.

"Ugh why did I do that?" Meredith groaned to herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

An hour later Meredith was freaking out, Abby had briefly woken up and saw the mess. Meredith had calmed her down and told her there was nothing to worry about. But now Meredith was sitting in the living watching Abby asleep on the couch. Every little noise she head she panicked. She felt awful about being so mean to Derek, he was only trying to help and she had been a total bitch to him. Abby was his daughter of course he would be worried about her staying in a house that had just been broken into. But she had to go and assume he wanted to stay for her and she overreacted. Why couldn't she act like a normal person when it came to Derek? She heard another creak from upstairs and before she could think she hit speed dial on her phone for the seventh time that night, calling Derek's cellphone. The difference this time was that she actually let it ring, the other times she hung up before it could connect.

It was at that moment Derek lying on his bed, fully clothed staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep, he knew it was pointless trying to. Then his phone rang just for a split second, as soon as he saw the caller ID, his mind was made up. Meredith was still awake and she had called him. He knew that she didn't want to call him, she probably hadn't meant for the phone to ring. But she was scared and whether she admitted it or not she wanted him. So he grabbed his jacket and keys and left the trailer.

* * *

Derek quietly let himself into Meredith's house using the spare key that he knew was hidden outside. He immediately noticed that almost every light in the house was on, he had been right Meredith was terrified.

"Meredith are you up?" he said softly not wanting to wake them if they were asleep.

"Derek?" said Meredith appearing from behind the living room door where she had been crouched, clutching her cell phone and a rolling pin.

"Yeah I just came to check on you," said Derek gently taking the rolling pin from.

"I'm sorry," said Meredith feeling like she wanted to cry. She was just so relieved to see him, he had just shown up even though she hadn't asked him to, in fact she had actually thrown him out just a few hours earlier. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," said Derek leading her into the living room. He sat her on an armchair and knelt in front of her. "Why are you sorry?"

"I yelled at you for no reason," said Meredith. "I threw you out, you were only trying to help and I…I did what I always so. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I just can't…"

"It's okay," said Derek pulling her towards his so that her head rested on his shoulder. "Just calm down, it's all okay."

"It's not," said Meredith taking deep breaths. "I pushed you away again, like I always do and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm just sc…"

"What?"

"Nothing it doesn't matter."

"Meredith," said Derek pulling back so that she had to look at him. "Please just tell me. I always feel like I don't really understand you. Just tell me why you react that way."

"I don't want to get attached again," said Meredith burrowing her head back in his shoulder.

"Attached? You don't want to get attached to me?"

"Yes," said Meredith stubbornly. She knew he thought she was being ridiculous, but she did have a point. "I don't want to get used to you being around when I'm scared or when I need you because there will be a time when you can't or you don't want to be around and then what?"

"I'll always be around when you need me," Derek murmured as he stroked her hair. "You should know that."

"But you'll get married and have a wife and kids and…"

"Hey that works both ways," said Derek softly. "When you get married…"

"Get married?" Meredith laughed. "I don't think that's anything we have to worry about for a long, long time."

"Why not?"

"I'm not looking."

"Isn't that when you usually meet someone?" Derek asked.

"Not me," said Meredith. "I'm not even interested in Luke and he's perfect for me. He's sweet, kind, good with kids, he's a doctor too and he is in love with me but…"

"He's in love with you?" Derek asked not being able to stop himself.

"Yeah," sighed Meredith. "Told me yesterday, he wanted to give us a real try…but I couldn't I just couldn't. I don't love Luke I never did he was always second be…"

"I didn't like him anyway."

"Yeah I'll say you didn't like him," Meredith snorted. "You flew into a jealous rage…"

"I don't get jealous."

"Sure you don't," Meredith smiled. "Don't you remember Finn? Whenever any man shows an interest in me, you get mad at me and act like a prick."

"Maybe I get a little jealous," Derek admitted.

"Uh huh," said Meredith. "Just a little?"

"Alright a lot," he admitted then he whispered. "But don't tell anyone."

"Okay."

"Come on lets get you up to bed, you must be exhausted," said Derek.

"Okay," she whispered. "But Abby?"

"I'll get her," said Derek walking over and picking Abby up. "Come on, upstairs."

* * *

"Derek will you stay tonight?" Meredith asked timidly. "If you have other stuff to do I understand…"

"Of course I'm staying," said Derek.

"Thank you," said Meredith. "You really don't have to do things like this anymore."

"I care about you, always will."

"We were really in love once weren't we?" Meredith asked casually as lay down on her bed. Abby was sleeping in the middle of the bed, Meredith didn't want to leave her alone that night, she wanted her close by.

"Yeah we were," said Derek pulling Meredith back to her feet so that she was standing right in front of him. "We loved each other, and we were happy albeit briefly."

"It gets kind of hard to remember the good times when everyone keeps telling me about the bad," said Meredith. "But I really loved you, I loved you right up until I left for Boston, even if I had a hard time showing it."

"Did it just stop when you left then?" asked Derek looking Meredith right in the eye.

"No," she said simply. "At least we can tell Abby that her parents really loved each other, once."

"Yeah once," said Derek sadly.


End file.
